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A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami. "Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely. "What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a money box!"
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1
A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. "Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied his friend. "Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. I called out to the chick and said, 'Lady, does this look like yours?' And the bitch hit me in the neck with her driver!"
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2
Q: What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick? A: Nothing. They all make woman's eyes water.
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3
What happens when you sing country and western music backwards? You get your wife and your job back.
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4
Q: What's the worst thing about washing your cat? A: Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.
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5
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