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A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said, "Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."
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1
The doctor said to the housewife, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is you don't have PMS. The bad news is - you're a bitch!"
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2
In Montana, on the sight where Custer and his men had their asses handed to them by the Sioux, a huge mural is to be painted. The artist insists on complete secrecy. When the mural is unveiled it shows an orgy of naked Indians screwing all over the prairie, and in the center a cow with a halo. The artist says the mural is a rendering of Custer's final thoughts - "Holy cow! Look at all them fuckin' Indians!"
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3
Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed their old friendship. "Let's have a drink like we did in the old days," the first Scot winked at his mate. "Aye," his mate replied. "And don't forget it's your shout."
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4
Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $20," the teacher began," and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?" "An orgy," Johnny answered.
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5
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