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Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he's never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, "What's that, Miss?" Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, "That's what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy." Tommy thinks for a moment and then says, "I'm not stupid Miss, I know that ain't a fucking pig!"
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1
The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. "It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?" "Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on top!"
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2
How do you make a cat drink? 1 cat 2 lemons Vodka Mix then serve
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3
Ok, I'm going to get a lot of hate mail for this one... What's the definition of the perfect woman? She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold in. The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.
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4
A worried patient went to his psychiatrist. "I'm in love with my horse," he said. "But that's nothing," replied the shrink. "A lot of people love animals. For instance, my wife and I have a dog that we love very much." "Ah, but doctor," the patient replied. "It's a sexual attraction that I feel toward my horse." "Ahhh!" exclaimed the doc. "What kind of a horse is it? Male or female?" "Female, of course," said the bloke. "What do you think I am, a faggot!"
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5
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