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PORTLAND, OR - A man was admitted to an emergency clinic with severe bruising and lacerations on his penis and testicles, caused in an accident involving a hand held vacuum cleaner. The man had been vacuuming, wearing only a bathrobe, when he tripped, having been distracted because his robe fell open. "It always does that," he said. "I keep meaning to rig up some kind of tie for it, but I never do. I guess I'll get around to it now." He fell on the vacuum and the small beater bar of the device caused enough damage to require fifteen stitches and an overnight stay at the clinic.
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1
It's great being a new mom. The only thing I worry about is that one day the FBI will break down my door and take the baby back to his real mother. But I guess it's normal for new moms to worry.
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2
I heard Dan Quayle is in favor of a 30% tax cut. His thinking must have been "Well, Dole lost with a 15% tax cut, but if I triple it to 30%, I can win!"
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3
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