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In America the late night news used to broadcast this message:
"It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?
In England they say
"Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?
In France they say "It's 11o'clock do you know where your husband is?"
In Poland they say Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"
Send this joke to a friend 1 Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad
and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "well, I knew that
my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he
actually died in the auschwitz concentration camp."
Patrick says, "that's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber?" and Mick
replies, "no, he fell out of the machine gun tower."
Send this joke to a friend 2 David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to
show him a trick.
"I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife
Claudia and a table."
"Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.
He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts
fucking her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says,
"That isn't a trick!!!"
The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,
"I know, it's fucking magic."
Send this joke to a friend 3 Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the
same time. The Italian boy's father presents him with a new pistol.
On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy
receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys
are showing each other what they got. They each liked what the
other one got, so, they traded.
That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him
looking at the watch. "Where did you getta thatta watch?" asks the
man. The boy explains that he and Sammy had traded. The father
blows his top. "Whatta you? Stupidda boy? Whatsa matta you!"
"Somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. Then maybe somma
day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with
another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and
say, `How longa you gonna be?'"
Send this joke to a friend 4 A young girl is speaking with her father.
"Daddy, what's that between your legs?"
"That's my hedgehog."
"Wow, it's got a massive cock."
Send this joke to a friend 5