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Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I". Little Johnny: I is... Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am." Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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1
Tourist guide at zoo: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, the largest animal to roam the lands. Every day the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of bananas, 6 tons of hay, and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits. Madam, please don't stand near the elephant's backside.... Madam, PLEASE don't stand near the elephant's backside ... MADAM ... MADAM ..., too late; George, dig her out."
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2
Getting anything done around here is like mating elephants. It's done on a very high level. There's a lot of stomping and screaming involved. And it takes two years to get any results.
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3
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Damn", says the ant, "one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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4
An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach. A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak. "Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "My, pleasure ma'am." said the sparrow. "Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there's anything I can ever do for you, don't hesitate to ask." The sparrow said, "Well, all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck an elephant." "Be my guest!", said the elephant. So the sparrow flew behind the elephant and started fucking. In the trees above, a monkey in the tree saw this and became very excited. He started to masturbate, shaking a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting the elephant on the head. "OUCH!", said the elephant. Then sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you, dear?"
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5
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