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I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
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1
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" by Woody Allen.
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2
What does an elephant keep up its trunk? A Yard 'n' half o' snot!
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3
And now, from our favourite fairy-tales.... Why does Peter Pan Fly? You'd fly to if you got hit in the peter with a pan.
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4
A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hoped to attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked: "Sir, can you please tell me where your library is at?" The man looked down his nose and replied: "Son, I'm head of the English department, and I can assure you we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply." "Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?" Sent by Randy
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5
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