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Name something a duck can do, that a doctor won't. Stick his bill up his ass.
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1
Q. What do pub landlords say in Kosovo at chucking out time? A. "Come on you lot, have you not got any homes to go to?"
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2
Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, "F.F." His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F." Out on the highway, he said, "F.F." She responded simply, "E.F." He repeated, "F.F." She again replied, "E.F." "Mom! Dad!" their son yelled. "What's going on?" Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!"
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3
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said, Throw the first PITCH!"
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4
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?" he asks. Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
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5
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