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NOTE: I don't know how anyone could write this with a straight face! This was an actual memo sent at an unnamed computer company to its employees. It went to all the company's field engineers, and it was in regard to a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious; the engineers rolled on the floor! (Especially note the last sentence!) INSTRUCTIONS FOR REPLACING MOUSE BALLS Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
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I've just got some awful news. A friend of mine is in danger of losing his license to practice medicine. He's being accused of having sex with some of his patients. It's such a stupid waste! He was the best veterinarian in town.
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Did you know who in 1923 was: 1.President of the largest steel company? 2.President of the largest gas company? 3.President of the New York Stock Exchange? 4.Greatest wheat speculator? 5.President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6.Great Bear of Wall Street? These men should have been considered some of the world's most successful men. At least they found the secret of making money. Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these men? 1.The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper. 2.The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane. 3.The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home. 4.The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless. 5.The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself. 6.The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide. The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship, Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments. Today he is still playing golf and is solvent. Conclusion: Stop worrying about business and start playing golf
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