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I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I look away for a couple seconds and when I look back she's halfway over in my lane. Scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee."
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1
Seen in a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
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2
Read this in a classified ad: "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."
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3
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