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A poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, "Please, sir, give me some money for a fix." The man answers, astonished, "Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?" "I'm eight, sir." "Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?" "Since I was raped, sir, when I was four." "RAPED?! And who raped you, little girl?" "I don't remember, I was drunk."
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1
The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's......there's good news and bad news." "The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago" "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"
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2
A young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating some candy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hair on the floor. "Oh dear, have you got hair on your candy?" asked the barber. "Don't be so stupid, I'm only three!!" said the girl!
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3
Here's a sad one... Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A: A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.
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4
Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstick and a magician's wand? A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts.
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5
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