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A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building... he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: "why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?" The blond answers in a very weak voice: "we wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings"...
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1
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!.................. So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
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2
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But. what happened to your other ear?" "The son of a bitch called back."
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3
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
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4
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
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5
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