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An associate at work a number of years ago related this story which he swore was true... He was dating a Jehovah's Witness, (I don't know what sort of date would make, milk and cookies after prayers, or some such thing), and they were driving along a rural road on a murky day. He muttered some offhanded obscenity, and his date started scolding him, saying that He would not want him to swear. Kidding, he swore at her again when all of a sudden the murky sky turned into a raging cloudburst. Lighting struck a telephone pole not too far away, and his horrified date said, "See! I told you He does not want you to swear!" To which he quipped, "Yeah, but the Son of a Bitch missed, didn't he?". They were moving slowly because of the heavy rain, and the girl fairly leaped out of the car without waiting for it to stop,. and ran off into the dark never to be seen again.
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Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
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New paint store just opened up by my place, so I decided as any red-blooded, sexually repressed young lad to pay it a visit. When I went in I saw signs all over advertising the newest color: "Natural Blonde". There weren't any samples around, so I asked the clerk to describe it to me. He replied, "Natural Blonde? Wonderful new paint: not too bright, but spreads easily!"
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