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A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water. After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, "Can you tell me what's wrong with me Dr.? Dr.: Yeah. You do not drink enough water.
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1
A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up."
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2
What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ? 100 way to wok your dog.
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3
Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"? They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you can get them off with one finger!
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4
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehiciles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehical bureau. I am way past sane!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back there?"
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5
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