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Today's jokes[12.11.01]
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A man went to the doctor for a check up. "How do you feel?" asked the
doctor. "Fine." he replied. After a few more general health questions the
doctor asked, "How many times do you have sex per month?" "About two or
three." the man replied. "You should be doing better than that." the
doctor offered. "Take these pills and come back in a month." The man did
and a month later he was again asked by the doctor, "How many times did
you have sex last month?" "About two or three times." the man answered
again. "I can't understand it," the doctor continued, "you should be doing
much better than that." "I don't know," replied the man, "that's not bad
for having no car and a small parish."
Send this joke to a friend 1 A Frenchman was arrested and charged with having sex with a dead woman.
"How do you plead?" asked the judge.
"Guilty or not guilty."
"Not guilty," replied the man.
"On what grounds?" queried the judge.
"I didn't think she was dead....I thought she was an American."
Send this joke to a friend 2 Did you hear about the blind skunk who fell in love with a fart?
Send this joke to a friend 3 One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing
him there, decides to investigate.
"Whatcha doin?" he asked. Mongo replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying
him."
"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor.
Mongo shot back, "That's because he's inside your fuckin' cat!'
Send this joke to a friend 4 Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He
gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man,
"Are you Jewish?" The man says, "No." Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later,
he asks, "You wouldn't happen to be Jewish would you?" The man replies,
"No!" Joe immediately apologizes. Five minutes later he says, " Can I ask
you a personal question....are you Jewish?" He shots, "NO!" Joe continues
like this for the next four hours. When the train stops, the man runs
away. When he gets to the hotel, he realizes there is someone next to him.
It is Joe. Joe asks, Say, are you Jewish?" The man is so fed up that he
says, "Yes." Joe says, "That's funny...you don't look Jewish at all!"
Send this joke to a friend 5