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There was an old spinster of Tyre Who bellowed, "MY CUNT IS ON FIRE!" So a fireman was found, Brought his engine around And extinguished her burning desire
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1
There was a young girl of Spitzbergen Where people all thought her a virgin Till they found her in bed With her quim very red And the head of a kid just emerging
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2
A near-sighted chap named Coulter Led a glamorous gal to the altar. Quite lovely he thought her Till some strong soap and hot water Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.
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3
There was a young fellow named Simon Who tried to discover a hymen. But he found every girl Had relinguished her pearl In exchange for a solitaire diamond.
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4
There was a young fellow named Biddle Whose girl had to teach him to fiddle. She grabbed hold of his bow And said, "If you want to know, You can try parting my hair in the middle."
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