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When we lived in Topanga we knew a family consisting of a single father and a houseful of young boys. One morning the youngest boy came into he kitchen in time to see their cat piddle in the toaster. (Why the cat did so, nobody could ever figure out. Never had any other similar problems with the beast.) He went to tell his father and while he was out of the room one of his brothers came in and tried to make some toast. Now, at its best, cat piddle is not readily confused with Chanel No. 5, and when burned it is far, far worse. They had to leave the windows open for days, and the neighbors had comments. Now, whenever I think I'm having a bad day, I remind myself that today, at least, the cat didn't pee in the toaster. Allen H. Relieved Los Gatos Sciolist
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Nairobi, Kenya -- A Kenyan doctor who removed a bean stuck in the ear of a young girl forced it back when her parents said they couldn't afford the bill, local newspapers reported Wednesday. The Daily Nation said the doctor successfully removed the bean from the child's ear and then presented the parents with a bill for $5.75. When they said they did not have enough money, the doctor grabbed the child, forced the bean back into her ear and ejected the family from his workplace. The Kenya Medical Association said it was investigating the incident.
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The president turned back to his own role in history. He told the audience that he saw a list of the top 100 news stories of the century compiled by the Newseum, a journalism- oriented museum ... across the Potomac in Virginia, and noticed that "something about the events of the past year" [was] on it. Clinton, smiling, revealed his number on the list: No. 53. "No. 53! I mean, what does a guy have to do to make the top 50? I came in six places after the invention of plastic, for crying outloud. And I don't recall a year of 24-hour-a-day saturation on the miracle of plastic." --Associated Press Report on 85th White House Correspondents Association Dinner 2 May 1999
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