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There was a young fellow from Wark,
Who, when he screws, has to bark.
His wife is a bitch,
With a terrible itch,
So the town never sleeps after dark.
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1
Here was a young man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born.
And he wouldn't have been,
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.
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2
A cowhand way out in Seattle
Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
He said, "No, I can't fuck
A lamb or a duck,
But golly! it just fits the cattle."
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3
There was a gay parson of Tooting
Whose roe he was frequently shooting,
Till he married a lass
With a face like my ass,
And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.
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4
Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester,
She obliges all who accost her.
She welcomes the prick
Of Tom, Harry, or Dick,
Or Baldwin, or even Lord Astor.
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5
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