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A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why had she left her previous employment, she replied, "Yes, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. Last night they played a game called Bridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say, "Lay down and let's see what you've got." Another man said, "I've got strength but no length." Another man says to the lady, "Take your hand off my trick!" "I pretty dropped dead just then, when the lady answered, "You jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise." Another lady was talking about protecting her honor. Another lady said, "Now it's time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine." "Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die if one of them didn't say, "Well, I guess we'll go home now. This is the last rubber"
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1
Moon Mission NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over." "Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear." "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?" "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over." "That's right. Over and out." They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hello, Pig 2? Come in please." "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear." "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?" "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program." "That's right, Pig 2. Over and out." An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the astronauts again. "Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read us?" "Kiki here, reading you loud and clear." "Kiki, do you remember your instructions?" "Yes," Kiki says, "I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any buttons."
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2
Man to a woman: Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is? Woman: No Man: Lets have lunch sometime... Sent by jim
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3
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!" Sent by Sarah
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4
Why do Scottsmen wear kilts? The sound of the zipper scares the sheep. Sent by Lou
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