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There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin..... however, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter! After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just raved about her youthful beauty! She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank him for what he had done. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!" He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!"
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1
Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, "Cow For Sale...$5000." He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars." The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this." He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a snatch just like a woman. Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says, "It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a snatch like a woman, and it's worth $5000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you're not worth shit."
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2
Georgie is walking down the street after a sex-change operation has transformed him into a beautiful women. An old friend sees him and says, "Georgie, you look great...you're beautiful!" Georgie says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt." His friend says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those implants?" Georgie says, "No, that didn't really hurt." His friend says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?" Georgie says, "No, that didn't really hurt." His friend says, "Then what did hurt?" Georgie says, "When the doctor drilled a fucking hole in my head and sucked out half my brain."
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3
God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in the Garden of Eden. So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue." Adam says, "That sounds great." God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam says, "Damn, that's expensive. What can I get for a rib?"
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4
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old." The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
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5
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