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A woman woke up and told her husband about a dream she'd just had. "I
was at an auction for penises. The big ones sold for $1000 and the
tiny ones for $10."
Husband: "What about one my size?"
Wife: "Didn't get a bid!"
Pissed off and wanting revenge, the next morning he told his wife he'd
had a dream too: "I was at an auction for vaginas. The really tight
ones sold for $1000 and the loose ones for $10."
Wife: "What about ones like mine?"
Husband: "That's where they held the auction."
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After many months of trying to make ends meet, one California couple
decided that the only way they were going to get any extra cash was to
have the old lady start hooking.
Early the next morning the wife comes home looking very haggard and
worn out. The husband guiltily asks how she did, and the wife replies
that she earned four hundred dollars and ten cents.
"That`s great!" the husband replies. "But who gave you the ten cents?"
"Everybody!" replied the wife.
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A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to
find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles.
A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells
her, "I love a woman that does aerobics."
The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!"
The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get
your leg up so high?"
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A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked
about 10 feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked
several yards behind their wives.
She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is
marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve
this reversal of roles?"
Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"
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A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in
spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
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