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I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still existed in 1999. A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said "General Store", and that was it. There was a little old man sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair. I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?" He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck." I said, "What do you hunt?" He said, "Somethin' to fuck."
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Those German controllers at Frankfurt Airport tend to be a short-tempered lot. They not only expect pilots to know their parking location but how to get there without any assistance. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt. Speedbird 206 clear to active." Ground: "Good Morning. Taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground. I'm looking up the gate location now." Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly), "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."
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I came home from work one day and my mother was making french fries in a Fry Daddy fryer. I saw her taking out soggy french fries and I asked her why is she taking them out when they weren't done. She said the oil keeps bubbling up and making a mess. I just ignored her and went into the other room and started to watch Sally Jessy Raphael on t.v. Then I remembered my daughter had just refilled my sons bubble blower and the gallon jug you buy from Toys R Us looks just like the gallon of oil. Well sure enough. We almost had bubble fries for dinner. You should have seen all the bubbles all over the place. My mother is not usually this senile but this day she outdid herself! Sent by Carol
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