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What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt? Self-employed
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1
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
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2
One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep his testis pouch empty. After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk. Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now. He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever I scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."
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3
BOSSES & TECHNOLOGY Boss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?" Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot." Boss: "Oh, that's right." Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realise we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."
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4
Two mates were screwing the same chick at the same time, and they were greeted with the sad news one day that their common squeeze had got knocked up. Having no way of knowing which was the father, the two mates chipped in and sent her out of town to have the little bastard. Several months passed without either of the mates hearing from the chick, so one of them decided to find her and get some news about the pregnancy. The next day, the other dude got a call from his mate. "I've got some good news and some bad news," the mate said on the telephone. "Well, give me the good news first," replied the other. "The good news is that she's fine, and she had twins," came the reply. "And the bad news?" "Mine died"
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5
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