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Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin' dad?" His father qiuckly replied "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.", to which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"
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1
Mommy, mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? Shut up and help me get grandma off the doorknob!
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2
An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man a $50 bill. The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the license to legally marry your Ma." "Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?" "Yep," said the old man fingering the $50, "... and a cheap one, too.
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3
Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. 'What are those knives doing in your car?' asked the officer. 'I juggle them in my act.' Oh yeah?' says the cop. 'Let's see you do it.' So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, 'Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!'
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4
Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted to watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michels on WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch the knitting channel so she can knit some mittens for the kitchen. The fourth nun said she wanted to watch the discovery channel on how a baby is born. After some dicussion, they all decided to flip channels every 2 seconds so they can watch the same things. This is what is sounded like: And they're off! They're on top of each other! In...Out...In...Out...and yes, the baby is born!
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5
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