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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another
cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."
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1
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those really
high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
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2
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to
calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the
doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you
know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife
stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After
that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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3
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who
makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe
diarrhea.
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4
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've
wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time
I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
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5
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