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Here is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it. He goes to the beach, strips completey and burries himself in the sand, except for his penis sticking out of the sand. Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says "There is no justice in this world". The other lady says "What do you mean?" The first lady says "Look at that". When I was 10 Yeras old I was afriad of it. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild
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1
if at first you dont succeed... buy her another drink
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2
Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!
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3
A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife say, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Carribean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."
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4
Friend: Vern, are you going to take your wife Alice on your next cruise? Vern: Yes, indeed. I just can't leave her behind alone.
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