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Government as Usual: The White House freed $250 million to promote a new sex education program. "It teaches marital fidelity," says Argus Hamilton. "It sure gets expensive when Bill Clinton and Dick Morris start theorizing."
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Only in Merry Olde England A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested. When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."
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Miss Canada 1996, Danielle House, got into a bar fight and was charged with assault after allegedly causing bodily harm to another woman. Says Jerry Perisho: "The other day I went to a Canadian beauty pageant and a hockey game broke out."
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