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What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil? The white one got away.
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1
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?" The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."
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2
A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man. He says to her, "What's going on?" She says, "Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!"
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3
"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very attached to." "But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm... *physically* attracted to my horse." "Hmmm," the doctor asked, "Is it male or female?" "Female, of course!" the man replied. "What do you think I am...GAY???"
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4
The sales girl at the Pink Pussycat boutique didn't bat an eye when the customer purchased an artificial vagina. "What are you going to use it for?" she asked. "None of your business," answered the customer, beet red and throughly offended. "Calm down, buddy," soothed the salesgirl. " The only reason I'm asking is that if it's food, we don't have to charge you sales tax."
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5
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