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What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? 1 U.S. leader
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1
The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny's father. She comes to Little Johnny's house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father "Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now....now he's being carnal with a goat in the front yard!" Little Johnny's father goes running out the door yelling, "Son of a bitch! Today is my turn!"
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2
A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."
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3
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
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4
A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. "My life is a mess, doctor," she began, "I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?" "Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start making you feel more confident about your appearance right here and now." "Oh, I am so grateful! What should I do first?" she asked. "First things first. Just walk over to the other side of the room and lie face down on my couch."
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5
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