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Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says "I gotta go use the can." So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 ... 10... 20 minutes. Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds him in there and asks "What the hell are you doing?" The first drunk repies "Everytime I flush, something reaches up and grabs my balls." The second drunk looks at him and says "Well ya dumbass, you sittin on the mop bucket"
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1
An elephant walks up to a naked guy and says, "How do you breathe out of that thing?" Sent by abu dahbi
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2
Q: Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine? A: They both have, "incert Bill"!
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3
A girl goes to the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor. "Oh my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor. "Oh my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. She replies, "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, why do you ask?"
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4
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."
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5
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