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Today's jokes[8.22.00]

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Man to a woman: Do you know the difference between a blowjob 

and a cheeseburger is?

Woman: No

Man: Lets have lunch sometime...

Sent by jim



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1
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!" Sent by Sarah
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2
Why do Scottsmen wear kilts? The sound of the zipper scares the sheep. Sent by Lou
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3
What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them! Sent by Sonia
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4
A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an "escort" service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hooker says, "I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that's for a hand job." "$500 for a hand job? Why, that's outrageous!" the man exclaimed. " No hand job in the world could be worth $500!" The hooker summons the man to the window and points down onto the parking lot below. "See that cherry red Maserati down there? I own that because of what I can do with my hands." Against his better judgement, the man pays the $500 and sure enough the hooker sends him into utter bliss, by far the best sexual experience of his life. After he recuperates he says to the hooker, "God that was fantastic!! How much for a blowjob?" "$2500," the hooker replied. "$2500 for a blowjob?" Cried the astonished man. "That's way too much!" Again the hooker summons the man to the window, this time pointing across the street. "Do you see that large medical building right off the strip there? I own that because of what I can do with my mouth." " Oh no," moans the man, "this is gonna break me, but I just have to try it." Once again the hooker takes him to the edge of the universe and back, far surpassing the pleasure he received earlier, leaving him utterly drained and totally gratified. As soon as the man can speak again, he says, "I just have to know. How much do you get for pussy?" The hooker drags the man to the window for a third time, points and proclaims, "Do you see the MGM Grand Hotel sitting there on the corner? I could own that if I had a pussy!" Sent by TJ
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5

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