| Archives | Lists | Random | Register | Tell Joke | Links | About |
Pokern |
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
A wild rabbit got caught and was taken to a laboratory. While he was in there he befriended a rabbit who had been in the lab since the day he was born. Anyway, one evening the wild rabbit noticed that his cage hadn't been properly closed, and decided to make a break for freedom. He asked the lab rabbit if he would like to join him. The lab rabbit was unsure, as he had never been outside the lab. However, the wild rabbit finally convinced him to give it a try. Once they were free, the wild rabbit said, "I'll show you the number three best field." and took the lab rabbit to a field full of lettuce. After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll show you the number two best field." and took the lab rabbit to a field full of carrots. After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll show you the number one best field." and took the lab rabbit to a warren full of female bunnies. It was heaven, non-stop bonking most of the evening. As dawn was beginning to break, the lab rabbit announced that he would have to be getting back to the lab. "Why?" said the wild rabbit. "I've shown you the number three best field with the lettuce, the number two best field with the carrots, and the number one best field with the bonking. Why do you want to go back to the lab?" The lab rabbit replied "I can't help it - I'm dying for a cigarette!"
Send this joke to a friend
1
This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?' " "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
Send this joke to a friend
2
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again and the chicken falls into the mud hole. The chicken yells to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse says, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches over the width of the hole and says, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up a chick.
Send this joke to a friend
3
Bob, an experienced sky diver, was getting ready for a jump one day when he spotted another man outfitted to dive wearing dark glasses, carrying a white cane and holding a seeing-eye dog by a leash. Shocked that the blind man was also going to jump, Bob struck up a conversation, expressing his admiration for the man's courage. Then, curious, he asked, "How do you know when the ground is getting close?" "Easy," replied the blind man. "The leash goes slack."
Send this joke to a friend
4
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive...."
Send this joke to a friend
5
| Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes |
| Jump to |