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A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
Said, "It's been hard since I lost him---
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price,"
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1
Said an old taxidermist in Burrell,
As he skillfully mounted a squirrel,
"This excess of tail is
Obstructive to phallus;
One's much better off with a girl."
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2
Maggie is such a sad sack of shit
That no one will tickle her tit.
It would make her so glad
To be had by a lad,
Her drawers cream at the mere thought of it.
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3
There was a young peasant named Gorse
Who fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion---
This constitutes grounds for divorce."
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4
There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest,
She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?"
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5
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