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Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smith he sat,
Amusing himself
By abusing himself
And catching the load in his hat.
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1
There was a young lady named Astor
Who never let any get past her.
She finally got plenty
By stopping twenty,
Which certainly ought to last her.
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2
There once were two brothers named Luntz
Who buggered each other at once.
When asked to account
For this intricate mount,
They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts."
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3
An explorer whose habits were blunt
Once flavored some cannibal cunt.
The asshole was shitty,
And---more was the pity---
It oozed from the rear to the front.
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4
There was an old man of Tantivy
Who followed his son to the privy.
He lifted the lid
To see what he did,
And found that it smelt of Capivi.
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5
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