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Today's stories[6.10.00]

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In Kentucky, a woman complained of a purple discharge from her 
vagina. She thought it might have something to do with the diaphragm 
that her doctor had recently given her. 
"I followed all the instructions to the letter," she told her doctor, 
"and used it with the jelly." 
When asked which kind of jelly she had used, she replied "Grape." 



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BABY CHICKEN A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room complaining of abdominal pains. During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby.
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The funniest thing I ever did was when I was borrowing my Dads car and I had to get gas. My Dad had a bad accident a few years back and he had both ankles surgically redone. So his car has handicap plates and I guess they have some rule that you have to give them full service at self serve pumps. The attendent came out and I waved him off without looking up from the nozzle. He tried to figure out why I had handicap plates so I thought it was a good time for a trick. I went to give him the money and I kept on bumping into things like the pump and when I went to give him the money I felt each individual bill and did the same when he gave me change. The whole time I spoke to him I staired into space( btw I was wearing dark sunglasses) . I walked out of the station running into everything and bumping my head when I got into my car. The attendent asked me, "How do you drive." I replied with, "What do you mean?" He answered with, "Are'nt you partially blind?" I ended with "No I am completely blind, I am driving a specially equiped car." I then sped away driving over the curb. In the rear view mirror I saw a station attendent with his jaw on the floor.
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