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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'
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1
As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, "Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment." The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will it be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"
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2
Q: What's a real mate? A: Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one ….when he returns.
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3
Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.
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4
After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. "Thanks," she said. "But I only charge $20." "Twenty bucks for the entire night?" the amazed MP replied. "You can't make a living on that." "Oh, don't worry," the whore replied. "I do a little blackmail on the side!"
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5
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