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A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy didn't know what he'd killed so he ran to the farmhouse and described his kill to the farmer. "It had two saggy tits, a beard, a hard head and it stunk like hell!" said the boy. "Oh, shit!" said the farmer. "You've shot the wife!"
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1
Q: Why is Bill Clinton happy he named his dog "Buddy?" A: Because it's a BAD TIME to be yelling "come Spot!" in the Whitehouse.
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2
I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting a baby in June. I'm betting the baby will be late.
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3
Monica Lewinsky's tell-all book about her affair with the U.S. President has, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after its first day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News. To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, the Lewinksy book had three other titles surrounding it on its display: "Divorce for Dummies" "100 Ways to Leave Your Lover" "How to Remove Stains"
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4
"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
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5
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