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I'm sure you can imagine
As plain as can be
The place is Piccadilly
The players He and She.
She whispered "will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."
She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore".
Then finally contended
Lay back and relax a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it.
It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size.
"Calm yourself" he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get it in".
"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this".
And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.
She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while".
Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!
Send this poem to a friend 1 The young things who frequent picture palaces
Have no use for this psycho-analysis.
And although Doctor Freud
Is distinctly annoyed
They cling to their old-fashioned fallacies.
Send this poem to a friend 2 There was an old man of Kentucky,
Said to his old woman,"Oi'll fuck ye."
She replied, "Now you wunt
Come anigh my old cunt,
For your prick is all stinking and mucky,"
Send this poem to a friend 3 The Communist Party's Earl Browder
Was fucking a girl in a howda.
The elephant's trunk
Somehow got in her cunt
Which, they felt, made it terribly crowded.
Send this poem to a friend 4 There was a young man named McNamiter
With a tool of prodigious diameter.
But it wasn't the size
Gave the girls a surprise,
But his rhythm---iambic pentameter.
Send this poem to a friend 5