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A Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy asks "what are you doing?" Indian says" Me tellum time." Cowboy shakes his head, rides on, encounters another exactly the same. Says "You telling time?" yup" "how can you tell time like that?" Indian says "workum like sundial, readum shadow". Cowboy, incredulous, rides on. Encounters Indian in trail masturbating. Cowboy says "let me guess, you're telling time too." Indian says " Nope. But me windum clock!"
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1
A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. "Your organ," she replied. "It's a bit on the small side." Hurt, he replied: "It's not used to playing in cathedrals."
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2
The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "All evening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."
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3
Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. "Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do. One: Take out your penie-pipe. Two: Pull back the foreskin. Three: Pee. Four: Push back your foreskin. Five: Put your equipment back." The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!" "Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said. I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' "Two-four, two-four, two-four......"
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4
President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!". She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"
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5
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