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My wife Myrtle's womb has a habit
Of expanding whenever I stab it.
What's more, my wife Myrtle
Is so wonderously fertile,
That she's giving me kids like a rabbit.
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1
There was a long lady named Weaver
Who had intercourse with a beaver.
The result of their fuck
Was a canvas-back duck,
Two muskrats and a hump-backed retriever.
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2
There was a young fellow named Tucker
Who, instructing a novice cock-sucker,
Said, "Don't bow out your lips
Like an elephant's hips,
The boys like it best when you pucker."
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3
A tidy young lady of Streator
Dearly loved to nibble a peter.
She always would say,
"I prefer it this way.
I think it is very much neater."
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4
Ethnologists up with the Sioux
Wired home for two punts, one canoe.
The answer next day
Said, "Girls on the way,
But what the hell's a 'panoe'?"
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5
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