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Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said,"Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"
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1
A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, "What's the matter?" He says, "Thirty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it. Now it looks like it can't wait to eat me."
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2
The clerk showed the man the store's most expensive perfume. "This is called 'Perhaps'," said the sales clerk. "It's $285 per ounce." "Listen," the man shot back, "for $285 an ounce, I don't want something called 'Perhaps'; I want something called... "You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You'll Get Some !!"
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3
"Dad," said the boy, "we had a spelling contest in school today, and I missed on the very first word." "That's too bad Son." consoled the Father, "What was the word ?" "Posse."
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4
Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around their ankles. They have their penis' in a snow bank. Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, "Boys! Boys! Whatever are you doing... you're going to catch pneumonia. Put your penis' away." The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, "Sister Margaret, don't worry, we know what we're doing. Father Porter always likes a couple cold ones after work...."
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5
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