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A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman ...then ... pow! ... it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "Ahhhh ... my wife found out ..."
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1
Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel. The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?" They replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say, 'Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away!"
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2
Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the hell were Nancy & Betty wearing?" "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needed ironing."
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3
The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor. She tells the doctor "Big Chief no fart." The doctor tells her to give him three pills a day. The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, "Big Chief no fart." The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him ten pills an hour. The girl comes back the next day and says, "Big Chief no fart." After hearing this the doctor gets so pissed off that he tells her to give him a jar an hour. The next day the girl comes back crying and says "Big fart no Chief!"
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4
Q: Why were there only 49 contestants at the Miss Ebonics USA pageant? A: No one wanted to stand up and say. . .Idaho...
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5
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