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On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. "What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant. "Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!" "Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class". The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin. "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class". Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next such an obnoxious person." With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..." At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the man walked to the front of the plane . . .
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Colena was telling me about her buddy and *his* girlfriend. They were working on a vehicle and using gasoline to clean the parts with. It was a warm day and the gas was sitting in a coffee can in the sun and eventually evaporated. Judi demanded to know what happened to it. When they told her what happened, she asked what eveporation was. So they told her it got hot in the sun & made it go away.... Judi's reply... "If you put it in the shade, will it come back?"
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Before I left army basic training in Louisiana, for my next duty station in Texas, my drill sergeant asked me: "Son, you know how to find Texas?" I said "I'm not sure, drill sergeant." "Well" he says, "you go west till you smell shit." "Thats Oklahoma" "Then you turn south 'til you step in it." "That's Texas."
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