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Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes,
Afflicted with psychotic warps.
His idea of fun
Is to bugger a nun,
And then vomit all over the corpse.
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There was a young girl from Peru
Who badly wanted to screw.
She tried a broom-handle
And the end of a candle,
But threw them away for a Jew.
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A pathetic appellant at Reno
Was as chaste as the holy Bambino,
For she'd married a slicker
Who stuck to his liquor
And scorned her ripe maraschino
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There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin.
His wife said, "Now, Perkin,
Stop jerkin' your gherkin:
You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!"
Send this poem to a friend 4 There was once a mechanic named Bench
Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench.
With this vibrant device
He could reach, in a trice,
The innermost parts of a wench.
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