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An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreign exchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rps and after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 with a typical "service" smile and "Have a nice day!" The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with another wad of Rupees. He handed the same cashier 100,000Rps and put his hand out for his $50.45, instead he received $48.78. He questiond bitterly Ooh! vy less !!??" Whereupon the cashier replied "Fluctuations!" He screamed back "FLUCK YOU AMERICANS, TOO!" I'm going back to Delhi!!!
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1
There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were then captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explains the trial to him. You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten. The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven. The second one arrives and shows the king his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I know, but I couldn't help it. I was doing just great when all of a sudden that third guy showed up with all those watermelons!"
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2
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? - Because she gets a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
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3
Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? - Chapped lips.
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4
Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies "Oh Sister, those are nuts." She answers "Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?" "No. The kind you rock on a crack."
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5
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