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Q: What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? A: Wipe it off and say you're sorry.
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1
Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Jhold it between your knees.
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2
Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70. When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."
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3
Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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4
There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times." The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass and then drink it." The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?" The priest said "NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face."
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5
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